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Product page copywriting is a critically important topic.
If you are spending on advertising you are most likely driving traffic directly to your product page. So the product page is where the visitor decides to “buy” or say “bye-bye.”
And if they decide to leave there is a very low chance they’ll return (just look at your Google Analytics data). This means we have one shot to connect with and persuade this promiscuous visitor.
The difference-maker on the product page is the product description because that’s where you tell your story. And the opening of your pitch is especially important.
So many brands
This is the golden age for direct-to-consumer brands. Search for any “problem” on Google and you’ll see plenty of ads. See the example below.
I Googled “teeth whitening kit” and saw at least 37 brand ads. It’s a pretty crowded space.
In this competitive environment, you can’t just simply start by talking about what your product does. There’s something that needs to be addressed before you get into your pitch. Explained below.
Here is how brands typically describe their product on the product page— they simply start describing the product:
Don’t follow the example above.
You can’t just start talking about your product. Your visitor isn’t invested in you, yet.
They’re barely on your site. One foot is out the door.
Before we can start selling them we need to get them to stay.
To do that, I need to start by addressing the elephant in the room— the many options available to this shopper.
When a visitor knows he has 36 choices there is a pretty high likelihood of him bouncing in 2 seconds.
But, if you start by acknowledging the competition and establishing how your product is better the shopper has a reason to stay a little longer.
And a little longer can gently lead to even longer, which can lead to the sale.
Here is the opening we would have led in with (red box in the screenshot below):
You’ll notice that instead of talking about what this product does we start by addressing the number of choices available.
We added a bunch of ideas to the opening, each choice is explained below.
Explanation of that opening
Our new opening does a few important things:
- The first paragraph lets the reader know that teeth whitening kits aren’t created equal. What we’ve done here is cleverly insert a negative thought to prevent the visitor from simply leaving our site. You’ll notice we didn’t come out and say ours is better, we left the sentence incomplete. This is intentional. It’s a technique called implied marketing. Details are in the Further Reading section below.
- Second paragraph starts by acknowledging the competition. Here too we’ve used the implied version of the pitch (“we tested them all.”) Had we said “we tested them all, and they were all inferior” the statement wouldn’t have this much punch.
- The third paragraph was designed to demonstrate our expertise. This is tactic 2 in our conversion copywriting process. Details are in the Further Reading section below.
PS: I’m only now realizing the accidental double mention of clear in the third paragraph. If I had a time machine I would have gone back and fixed it. I don’t, so let’s just pretend I used something different for the second clear.
- The fourth paragraph dramatizes the difficulty in building a breakthrough product. It also hints at our expertise.
- The fourth paragraph also introduces a new idea: “… if there was a kit that could do what we wanted for under $250 … “
Why do we talk about the price point of $250 when this model retails for $199? Because we’re trying to let the visitor know our $199 model was designed to deliver a value of a $250 priced model. The user already knows this model costs $199, the price was mentioned at the top of the page. So seeing this statement generates the emotional satisfaction of getting an extra $50 in value, for free. Who would decline that?
Now that you understand the importance of how to write your product description in a crowded market, let’s discuss other ideas to boost conversions:
— This article mentions the term negative thought. That’s actually part of our 9 point copywriting process. You can learn more about negative thoughts and deal with them in your copy in this article.
— This article talks about demonstrating expertise. You can learn more about that here: Tactic 2: Find Expertise Sexy
— The article also talks about implied marketing. Dig into that here: Implied Marketing vs. Stated Marketing
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We specialize in optimizing Shopify product pages. Watch your bestseller convert 20% better in 90 days. Our process.
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